猫志功

猫の思考夜で遅く 2: すべての私の友人のおかげで

So. I don’t want this to sound all sappy or corny, but I need to let everyone I love see this. As some of you may know, I am rapidly ending my senior year of high school… While these have been possibly the year to carry the most unfortunate of events, they have been the best years of my life.

The reason they have been the best years of my life is… This has been the first time in my entire life that I’ve made friends that actually like me… I do admit it has been hard, it’s hard having to go from being a nobody to being someone that a lot of people would miss if I killed myself.

I feel like sometimes my friends feel unappreciated at times by me because of my pessimistic attitude, or how I just want to disappear at times… but this is my thanks to all of you.

I may have lost a couple of you along the way… I have tried to patch things up but if you want to cease contact with me, I am okay with that, just one thing: I’ll miss you. I am trying to go through great lengths and put the most effort i can into being a kind person to EVERYONE. I will miss the lunches we spent together, and the feeling of being excited that I finally have classes with friends… I will miss talking about issues and coming to you guys for advice… But I am excited for the next year… and summer. I hope to see all the friends that I don’t get to see now because I am a year below them.

I know some of you feel that I don’t care about some of you or that I give you pity or something like that… and that really hurts me considering I try to do my best to be there for you guys and I try to help. I do care, I will probably always care for my friends. I love you guys, you guys have helped me grow as a person, realize my flaws but to embrace them and not to beat myself up all the time.

I went from being a sad depressed person who was ready to throw it all away, and then all of the people I’ve met helped me get through it. You guys showed me that I wasn’t alone. I know I’ve thanked my boyfriend of two years for helping me feel beautiful and everything, but never taken the time to thank my friends. And you guys really do deserve it. I hope that most of you will try to stay along my side as time goes on, but if we do part, I will always remember you and the kindness you’ve shown me.

Thank you all so much, I love each and every one of you. Please don’t take this the creepy way, I just want to show my appreciation. I’m sorry this was too long, or not long enough, you deserve more, but I feel like I’m repeating myself.

Thanks again, 

Brooke.

私はあなたのすべてを愛していることを忘れないでください。

猫の思考夜で遅く 1: 生命の長寿

Every single day I get depressed over the thought of “I am going to die someday.” The thought of never having thoughts ever again is truly scary and I bawl uncontrollably at the thought because I am not a very strong individual. However, I am glad I have the intelligence to know that there is an end and that I should spend my time here wisely. I have not used my time wisely. I have wasted 14 years on an education…. for what? How am I ever going to get those precious 14 years of my life back? I guess I am going to have to accept that I am 17 years closer to death. To learn to stop crying like a baby. I will not be remembered, I will not be missed, I am insignificant to the rest of this world. There is nothing I can do to change that fact. I think the reason why having no conscious scares me is because I wont be able to be with the ones I love anymore, and it’s….. scary. But this scene cheers me up a bit on this subject, maybe I don’t have to go through this alone, maybe I can go through this with someone from now till my death in a few years, and they’ll remember me for a short while.. that thought relives me a little…. maybe there is someone that will always love me, even after death. And the time we spent together, it will forever be cherished.

 (http://youtu.be/EQDVa-dUIz0)

すべての人間の最も古い確認され記録された年齢が122歳である

私はベッドに行く必要があり、私は考えすぎ。